Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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