3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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