I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize