she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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