PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
