My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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