My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize