Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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