Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
