We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize