Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
