How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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