how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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