I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize