We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
