who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
