Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize