we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
