Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
