you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize