I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
