We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
