Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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