i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
