Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
