I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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