we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
