How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize