I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
