you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The best revenge is premature balding
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
