i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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