"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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