You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
