You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When are your genitals available?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wear drunk well.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize