So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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