As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
