Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
