i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
