I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if only i could text you this smell
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
