Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
