Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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