Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
