How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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