no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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