omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
