Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize