she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
