had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize