i think my tv is drunk
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
