She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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