hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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