We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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