First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
