I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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