Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My cat gives me a boner
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
