I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
