You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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