Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Found the puke drawer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
