I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
