My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize