she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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