when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
