Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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