Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
