Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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