There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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