It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
