do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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