Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
