can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
