Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
