lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
