i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
