You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
