batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
