My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
