the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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